Friday, July 07, 2006

Elderly activities

CONFESSION

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm telling everybody."

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BROTHEL TRIP


An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

"I'm 90 years old," he says.

"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man. "How much do I owe you?"

********************

SENILITY


An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile.
Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

"That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."

2 comments:

Charlie said...

"Confession" killed me. I mean, it's so . . . Jewish! (I love Jewish humor)

Kim Ayres said...

admiral pooper, this combined Jewish humor with Catholic humor-less very well.