HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
Amazingly the Joke Mail blog is 1 year old today! As far back as 365 days ago I posted the first joke from the huge pile in my inbox that friends have sent to me over the years (Je-Liebe-You)
Anyway, enough of the sentimentality and on with the laughter...
Headaches... and second opinions
Joe had been having severe headaches for several years and his wife finally convinced him to see a neurologist.
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that, it will require castration.
"You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles, to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked, and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. But he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,
but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
He walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.
He could make a new beginning, and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, that's what I need - a new suit.
He entered the shop, and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly, and said, "let's see - size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "that's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years," the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "how about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment, and then said, "sure."
The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "let's see, 34 sleeves, and 16 1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "that's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
He walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "how about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a moment and said, "sure."
The salesman said, "let's see - size 36."
Joe laughed, "ah ha!! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "you can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion
PRICELESS
13 comments:
you've done it again!
oh, and i forgot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
The birth of a great idea - making others laugh, groan, or smile. Happy birthday. And many more.
I feel lucky to have come by this web-site months ago. I have also found some other great blogs on account of you. Thanks for that too.
Great joke!
& Happy Blog Birthday
ha ha thats a good one keep them coming and of course happy birthday
i've got a vino verde in one hand and I'm checking the jewels with the other.
Many happy returns.
My grampa told me that joke years ago, but without the Mastercard ending. Still a great one!
I have another with a punchline that goes,
"What did you expect me to do with them, stick them up my ass?"
Do you know THAT joke?
*groan* that joke was painfully funny. hahaha!
I guess that's why most folks go for boxers huh?
Happy birthday! Keep 'em coming. =)
Thank you all for your birthday wishes
JG - what, no star chart telling me how the next year will pan out for this blog?
Doc - hope you found your jewels
SafeTinspector - if I don't, I suspect you've just given away the punchline. It's not the one about why the fairy is on top of the xmas tree is it?
The Sun was in Virgo and Mercury was in Leo on this day last year (8/24/05). Virgo is service oriented - towards the many, or the individual. It makes others feel good to laugh. That's a great service. Mercury in Leo is about expressing oneself creatively, playfully, spontaneously. The childlike spirit of this blog touching upon the child within the visitors. "Laughter is the best medicine," they say. As for the upcoming year, it will be whatever you want it to be. The potential is there.
Congrats, Jokerman, and keep 'em coming!
Here's one I came up with.
Q: Why is this website like an omelette?
A: Because it's full of 'yolks'!
Hilarious, eh?
JG - Sounds promising!
Foot Eater - is that Morgue Humour?
JM:It involved a misunderstanding involving the proper use of a suppository.
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