One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"
Gepetto asked, "have you tried sandpaper?"
Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.
"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later, "how is the problem working out with your girlfriend?"
Said Pinnochio, "Girlfriend?! Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"