Monday, September 24, 2007

Analysis of the ''F'' Word

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “fuck”. It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary fucked John) and intransitive (John was fucked by Mary). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, fuck, he's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word “fuck.”

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1) Surprise -- “What the fuck are you doing here?”
2) Fraud -- “I got fucked by the car dealer.”
3) Resignation -- “Oh, fuck it!”
4) Trouble -- “I guess I'm fucked now.”
5) Aggression -- “FUCK YOU!”
6) Disgust -- “Fuck me.”
7) Confusion -- “What the fuck...?”
8) Difficulty -- “I don't understand this fucking business!”
9) Despair -- “Fucked again....”
10) Pleasure -- “I fucking couldn't be happier.”
11) Displeasure -- “What the fuck is going on here?”
12) Lost -- “Where the fuck are we?”
13) Disbelief -- “UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!”
14) Retaliation -- “Up your fucking ass!”
15) Denial -- “I didn't fucking do it.”
16) Perplexity -- “I know fuck-all about it.”
17) Apathy -- “Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?”
18) Greetings -- “How the fuck are ya?”
19) Suspicion -- “Who the fuck are you?”
20) Panic -- “Let's get the fuck out of here.”
21) Directions -- “Fuck off.”
22) Awe -- “How the fuck did you do that?”

It can be used in an anatomical description -- “He's a fucking asshole.” It can be used to tell time -- “It's five fucking thirty.” It can be used in business -- “How did I wind up with this fucking job?” It can be maternal -- “Motherfucker.” It can be political -- “Fuck Clinton!”

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
“What the fuck was that?” -- Mayor of Hiroshima
“Where did all these fucking Indians come from?” -- General Custer
“That's not a real fucking gun, is it?” -- John Lennon
“Who's gonna fucking find out?” -- Richard Nixon
“Why the fuck did that apple hit me?” -- Issac Newton
“Heads are going to fucking roll.” -- Marie Antoinette
“I could have used a fucking map.” -- Ulysses
“Where the fuck is all this water coming from?” -- Captain of the Titanic
“Any fucking idiot could understand that.” -- Albert Einstein
“It DOES SO fucking look like her!” -- Picasso
“Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG fucking wall to keep them out.” -- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty
“I can't believe I just fucking said that.” -- Patrick Henry
“Fucking backstabbers!” -- Julius Caesar
“You want what on the fucking ceiling?” -- Michelangelo
“Fellatio is not fucking!” -- Bill Clinton
“Where is that fucking pizza guy?” -- Elvis
“Why? Because its fucking there!” -- Sir Edmund Hilary
“I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?” -- Joan of Arc
“Scattered fucking showers my ass.” -- Noah
“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.” -- John F. Kennedy
“What are the fucking chances I'm going to heaven?” -- Adolf Hitler
“Hey, where the fuck are your turbans?” -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the “Indians”.

4 comments:

cappy said...

OF COURSE WE'LL MAKE THE TURN - MARC BOLAN

Jupiter's Girl said...

I don't know that one. Who's M.B?

cappy said...

?????
don't they teach you anything these days? google him!

Ron, apparently said...

Who's Marc Bolan??????????????