Friday, November 23, 2007

PRESS RELEASE /// THE DARWIN AWARDS///NOV 2007

PERSONAL ACCOUNT: Hedge Your Bets (near miss)2007, Ontario, Canada My friend's daughter is a plastic surgeon with expertise in reconstructive surgery. Recently a patient was rushed into the hospital, needing a surgeon to reattach the tips of his fingers to his left hand. While taking the patient history, it was found that this bright chap got the idea of holding his lawn mower sideways and applying it to his hedge. He was holding the mower deck, trimming the hedge, and things went well until the weight of the mower got to be a bit much. He readjusted his grip on the mower deck, and that was when the blade bit him.When my friend's daughter was almost finished with the complex job of sewing this patient back together, another patient came in with the same injury! On investigation, it was found that he, too, had been using his mower to trim his hedge. Apparently this man was a neighbor of the first patient. He watched his neighbor trim his hedge, and thought it was a bright idea. Often fact is so much weirder than fiction.h

from Randy Cassingham's book, The Stella Awards, comes this...DARWIN AWARD: ZAP! (2003, California) John, a real estate attorney, was skimming leaves from his pool when he noticed a palm frond caught in the power lines. Years of education equipped John with enough reasoning power to become a successful litigator. Yet his education did not equip him with sufficient acumen to avoid becoming a toasty critter, when he reached up with the long metal pole and poked at the palm frond. John was, for once, the path of least resistance.His family, perhaps as an homage to his litigation skills, sued both the utility company and the pool supply store, which failed to disclose the danger of using the pool skimmer on power lines.

2 comments:

cappy. said...

ok. gonna swear......


FUCKWITS!!

sorry.

i could spend weeks reading these things! i love the darwin awards. one of the first sites i ever visited when i came on-line. and all thanks to my parents buying me a book years ago!

Jupiter's Girl said...

Jokemail, the original, sent me these the other day. They are funny, even though I get a touch of "awwww" when I read them. Poor buffoons.