Friday, January 26, 2007

Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day - 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Jupiter's Girl


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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Understanding Women (a Man's Perspective)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


With thanks to Jupiter's Girl for this one

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Woman's Revenge

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


With thanks to Jupiter's Girl for this one

If you would like to see your favourite joke here at Joke Mail, please place it in the Submissions Page

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew! she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


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Monday, January 22, 2007

Wife Hunt

Two guys are pushing their shopping trolley's around a store when they collide.

The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".

The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?

The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top. What does your wife look like"?

The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."


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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Having a bad day

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour
when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs.

"I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting,
so my boss fired me.

"When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance.

"I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab!

"At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

"So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life,
and then you show up and drink the damn poison."


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