A couple had only been married 2 weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face, to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
fridge displaying 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different
countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do; all he could think to say was,
Yes, Lollipop, .... but at the bar ...you know...they have frozen glasses."
"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of
the freezer to hand him.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious ....I won't be
long, I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey...at the bar...you know there's swearing, dirty
words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR
ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR
HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And . . .. they lived happily ever after.