Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grand mother replied "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grand mother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
Oh no, my dear, replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply, in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
(Thanks be to Kim Ayres for this and the last one. Ramblings of the Bearded One.)