Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You can't remember your second cup.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
You don't sweat - you percolate.
You grind coffee beans in your mouth.