Saturday, April 12, 2008

Bad news

Friday, April 11, 2008

Gourmet Reporter

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

"But you don''t understand!" he cries, "You can''t do this to me! I''m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"

"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well look on the bright side. Soon you will be editor-in-chief!"

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

7 Kinds Of Sex!

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.

* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.

* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.

* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex

* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.

* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.(Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.

* This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

* You get a little each month But not enough to enjoy your self.

Monday, April 07, 2008

One for the girls


Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Sunday, April 06, 2008

It's Not For Him, Stupid

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."