Saturday, October 11, 2008

Drink responsibly this Halloween

Thursday, October 09, 2008

When it's okay to say the "F" word...




Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Gender Poetry

A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs and a nice ass who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End

Monday, October 06, 2008

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the
toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film '"did you seethat?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'....Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which isit? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have
been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Sex and Housework

She'd been taught, "Housework is a woman's job," but one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table was set. She was astonished-!!

It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said, "Wives who worked full-time and then had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex."

The night went very well. The next day, she told her office friends all about it. "We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening."

"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that ..., Ralph was too tired."