One day, on a trip to the Grand Canyon, three rednecks met a genie in the usual rubbing-the-lamp fashion.
The genie told the three rednecks that she could turn them into whatever they desired. She said that they had to pick what they wanted to be, run off the cliff, say it in mid-air and they would become that.
So the first redneck started running, and as soon as he left the edge of the cliff, he shouted, "Eagle!" and flew off.
The next redneck, wanting to be a little more advanced, ran off and shouted, "Plane," and so he flew off.
The last redneck took off runinng, but tripped over a rock just before he left ground and said "SHIT!"
And so he fell to the ground as a pile of shit, and that's where he is today.