Wednesday, June 03, 2009

How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab, 2

Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

Ask around for a spare zip disk. Offer $1. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops. Forgot."

Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray, "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

"Disk fight!"

Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you, whether you know them or not.

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Thong Song" whenever there is processing time required.

Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

When you start up a PC, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is.

Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was a line or two.

Sit and stare at the screen, chomping on your nails. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

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