Thursday, June 04, 2009

How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab, 3

Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them, and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor.

Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in a great flood" and continue working.

Bring some dry ice and make it look like the computer is smoking.

Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

Attempt to eat your computer mouse.

Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?" unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.

Bring in a bunch of magnets and have a ball.

When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

1 comment:

Jo Bacarro Holloway said...

Put a straw in your mouth and put
your hands in your pocket .type by hitting the keys with the straw lol