Watson stops by to wish Holmes a Merry Christmas and finds him hanging his tree with ornaments that look like model atoms, lettered in glitter H, C, Fe, O, N, &c.
"Good Heavens!" he exclaims, "What is that?"
"Why, Watson," Holmes replies calmly, "it's an element tree."
Two atoms rushing down a busy street bump into each other and one goes
sprawling. The other helps him up and asks, "Are you all right?"
"No," comes the reply, "I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes -- I'm positive!"
Non-alcoholic beer is just a hypothesis -- it has no proof.