Friday, November 27, 2009

Blonde in a snowstorm

A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Redneck lunch

Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch. The Chinese man says, "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself."

The Italian guy says, "If I get another slice of pizza, I'll kill myself."

The redneck says, "Iffin I get another ham hock, I'll kill myself."

The next day, all three men get the same lunches, so they throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. At the funeral the Chinese man's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed an egg roll that day."

The Italian guy's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed a slice of pizza that day."

"Don't look at me," says the redneck's wife. "He done packed his own vittles."

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

DAVID BLAINE TEST

This is creepy!



Think of a letter between A and W






Repeat it out loud as you scroll down






Keep going






Don't stop








Think of an animal that begins with that letter








Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.







Think of either a man's or a woman's name that begins with the last letter in the animal's name.







Almost there.












Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down.






Take the hand you counted with and hold it out in front of you at face level.






Look at your palm very closely and notice the lines on your hand.




Do the lines take the form of the first letter in the persons name?








Of course they F***ing don't!



Now smack yourself in the head, get a life, and quit playing stupid online games!