Saturday, January 30, 2010

Door-to-Door Sales Crap

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.


He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"

The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"

She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."

Friday, January 29, 2010

Bad Drivers

Bob and Bill are driving down the road going about 85 mph. Up comes a red light and Bob goes right through it.

Bill turnes to Bob and says, ''What the hell are you doing?''

Bob says, ''Don't worry—my brother does it all the time.'' So on they go, and — bam! — 85 mph through another red light!

Again Bob says, ''Don't worry, my brother does it all the time!'' Then they're driving along and coming up on another red light, and as soon as it turns green, Bob jams on the breaks and skids to a stop!

Bill looks over and says, ''What the hell is wrong with you, you jerk? The damn light is green. Why did you stop?''

Bob says, ''My brother may have been coming the other way!"