Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Only in Britain

Only in Britain...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke (actually, I think this one is pretty universal).

...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process of Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage.

...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

...are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


THE BRITISH WAY OF LIFE

* 3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

* 142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

* 58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

* 31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

* 19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

* Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

* 101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

* 18 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

* A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

* 5 people were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalectrix cars.

* 8 people cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet.

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