Dougie telephones his friend who is in hospital.
His friend says," you'll have to get me out of here, it's so noisy I can't sleep, even one of the staff recites poetry when I'm trying to sleep, and the foods awful, its so repetitive: porridge and haggis - they must have got a load of it cheap."
Dougie replies, "doesn't sound right, what ward are you in",
The answer comes back, "I'm in the Burns unit."
*For non Scots, google Robert Burns