LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
"Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY. "But that's
right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful.
Little BILLY says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."