Wednesday, November 12, 2008

2008 DARWIN AWARDS For November


(February 2008, France) A 71-year-old pensioner met a shocking end
when his frugal attempt to illuminate his yard with power siphoned
from the National Grid backfired spectacularly.

The gentleman in question illegally opened a major power junction box at
the front of his house, intending to hard-wire a cable to his garden shed.
Unfortunately, the poor chap attempted to do this rewiring during a major

The fatal result was all too predictable. He was immediately deep fried
and declared deceased at the scene.

1--Don't hardwire your shed to a local power substation
2--Don't hardwire your shed to a power line... in the rain!
3--There _is_ such a thing as being too frugal.
A SCREW LOOSE (2008 Darwin Award)

(April 2008, Texas) A contract worker was hired to install reinforcement
bars on a communications tower near Camp Bullis. He was using power tools
high above the ground, when two other workers saw him lean back and fall
225 feet to his death. Turns out, the man had loosened the bolts on
the bar to which he was attached.

Police are calling it a tragic accident.
BENCH PRESS (2008 Near Miss)

(August 2008, Hong Kong) It's raining. You're lonely. Why not?

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench,
and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man
had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had
numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible
to use them for sexual gratification.

Enticing orifices.

Once Xian became aroused, he found he was stuck and could not remove
himself from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked.
Police received a call from a disturbed man, and arrived to find poor
Xian trapped face-down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried, but emergency workers
had to cut the entire bench free and take him to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.
It is certainly possible that the lack of blood flow could have caused
sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his *****.

This is a bad date that Xian will never forget.


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