Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Female rejection lines:

10. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in 'Deliverance.'

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I don't want to do my dad.

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
Translation: You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.

7. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.

6. I've got a boyfriend.
Translation: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

5. I don't date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.

4. It's not you, it's me.
Translation: It's you.

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.

2. I'm celibate.
Translation: I've sworn off only the men like you.

1. Let's be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.