Some of these you have to read slowly.....
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget
Man with death-watch beetle in wooden leg, better off than man with tin leg in thunderstorm.
ReplyDeleteSpike Milligan.
God rest his tortured soul.
Better to be rich and healthy
ReplyDeletethan poor and sick.
Better to be a witty fucker than a fuck-wit
ReplyDeleteThat sounds vaguely familiar,
ReplyDeleteKindest regards,
mz.F.Eater. xxxx
Originality is not a requirement on this site. I've made it perfectly clear that all the jokes I'm posting have been doing the rounds, sometimes for years. If people want to repeat some of their wittier remarks for others to see, then I have no objections.
ReplyDelete"Man with small dick learn to be good at foreplay."
ReplyDeleteAs copied from myself, but doesn't sound as good out of context.
"Man with small dick learn to be good at foreplay."
ReplyDeleteWhat's the second bit of it?
Poor anti-barney,
ReplyDeleteI bet this happened to you at school. You make a genuine joke and get slapped down pronto by the master. There's no justice.
Shows how stupid and inadequate I am,Having thought the slapping down to be directed at the bearded
ReplyDeleteone.
OK, I'm getting confused about who's slapping who down. My comment wasn't aimed at anti-barney, it was actually just supposed to be adding to the list of sayings.
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought a-b's comment was rather amusing, although all this cross-fertilsation of conversations on different sites does get a bit hard to keep up with sometimes.
When I insult someone, I'd like to think they feel good and insulted, and understand that it was intentional.
Fuck!
I propose one or both of the Drs.
ReplyDeleteinstitute a white paper for discussion on the likely results of
cross conversations,insults and
compliments.one realizes one is only a newcomer to these sites,but its great fucking Craic.
No, you pair of dicks.
ReplyDeleteEl B did his fuckwit bit,
AB (as F*** E*T**) says "that sounds familiar"
And our host JMail jumps in to say
"Originality is not a requirement on this site. I've made it perfectly clear that all the jokes I'm posting have been doing the rounds, sometimes for years. If people want to repeat some of their wittier remarks for others to see, then I have no objections"
And the master was at school. Certainly not here in the virtual world.
ReplyDeleteThere are no masters here, throw off your chains!!
Betcha Jokemail's wondering what the fuck's happening. Serves him right!
Too right I'm wondering WTFs going on. Dr Maroon, have you been playing with the glue in the stationary cupboard again?
ReplyDeleteExplanations ruin all the fun .
ReplyDeleteP.S. sorry for going off on such a
tangeant,Mr.Jokemail
Hey, tangents are fun. To be honest, this blog feels kind of like an empty playground sometimes. I put up a new joke every day, but I have no idea whether anyone is coming by, or how many. Most of these comments tangents happen over at other people's pads, like Doc Maroon's and El B's.
ReplyDeleteSo if people want to charge off on tangents and start swinging on the rafters around here, then I'd enjoy the company.
Damn that makes me sound like a lonely bastard!
So thats how you spee tangeant then?
ReplyDeletespell,even.
ReplyDeleteYs, acccordingn too miy spee chckkre!
ReplyDelete