Saturday, June 16, 2007

Age-Old Riddle

If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

Friday, June 15, 2007

Job Application

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.

"Simple," said the department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

a Few Blonde Jokes

Bang, You're Blonde
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A blonde tried to shoot herself!

Blonde at the Doctor's
"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor to the young blonde, placing his stethoscope around his neck.

When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."

"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"

Blonde Mating Call
Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?

A: "I'm soooo drunk."

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Top 10 Party Games for People Over 50

10. Sag! You're It!

9. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

8. 20 Questions Shouted in Your Good Ear

7. Kick the Bucket

6. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

5. Doc, Doc, Goose

4. Simon Says Something Incoherent

3. Musical Recliners

2. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta

And the number 1 game for people over 50 is...

1. Hide and Go Pee!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

World's Toughest Cowboy

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

A night of tall tales commences.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second chimes in, "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

Monday, June 11, 2007

A Lady and Her Baby...

A lady and her baby get on a bus.

The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"

The lady then, totally disgusted, marches to the back of the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"

The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Blonde on Fire

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"