Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Drive thru Cash Machine

Please note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-thru" cash point machines customers will be
able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine
2 Wind down your car window
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5 Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6 Wind up window
7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 Wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12 Enter PIN
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forwards 2 metres
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24 Re-check make-up
25 Restart stalled engine and pull off
26 Drive for 3 to 4 miles
27 Release hand brake

3 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Gorilla Bananas said...

Oh dear, comments spam. I got one of those and deleted it promptly. The jokes of yours I like best have one-sentence punch lines. The long lists would be funny if a different person were saying each line, perhaps to goad someone into a spirited response.

Kim Ayres said...

Gorilla! I am honoured by your visit to my site. I appreciate your insight into the human condition that clearly comes from an outsider's perspective.

I have quite a backlog of jokes, and while I admit that long lists are quite common, there will be ones with good punchlines to come.

Indeed, with your anthropological astuteness, you might well enjoy today's posting - Ambition is Good