Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Men...

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

How do you get a man to do sit­ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.

What did God say after creating Eve?
Practice makes perfect.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

4 comments:

SafeTinspector said...

"Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?"

Real answer: they're easy to find, but you stupid bitches always make excuses for why you don't want to date them so you can go get trapped in relationships with dickheads.

Kim Ayres said...

Aha, someone else who was a nice guy at school and watched all the girls going out with complete bastards.

Anonymous said...

"But, I like nice guys now," she complained to her dickhead.

Anonymous said...

ohh safetineinspector...don't even get me started. why are you on a feminist page in the first place? did the google search for "women" come up wrong?