It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for extra income and for health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech when we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the local medical center as a phlebotomist.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush
so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort. I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man. However guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I'll consider it all worth while.
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Dear Mom
Sorry I have not written for such a long time, but I thought now that I do have one evening to myself I would write to you and tell you how happy I am with my life. Mom, to say that my life is the best it has been for ages would be an understatement! I feel I must tell you how this has come about. Since Chuck gave up his job and took early retirement, life really got moving for me. I am now head of the medical centre with wonderful benefits, free health insurance for me, but alas none for the spouse. ( I have not told Chuck this, I guess his payout he got when he took early retirement will pay for him)
The hours are good, long working breakfasts and lunches with clients do tend to take a good bite out of my working day, so much so, that when I get home after work I really don't feel like turning around and cooking for Chuck, so I take myself off for a half hour soak in the bath... I have a standing order with the local deli, restaurant and takeaway ..I wake Chuck when its ready for him to eat. I know it really bugs him when I leave the dishes on the table, I leave them as long as I dare, just to see how agitated he can get...I stack them in my new dishwasher (another of my new purchases)
Yes Mom, I now have a new dishwasher in the basement...I know Chuck would never venture down there so have made a few other changes...I now pay for a laundry service, I never knew these existed until I was talking to the girls at work. It really is quite easy. I bag them up a couple or three times a week, they are collected from the basement and delivered washed, dried, ironed and starched..I ask then to put extra starch in Chucks underpants, I feel that is the least I could do.
The other odd jobs around the house are done by this wonderful servicing team, I am sure they would have a local branch round your neck of the woods. They are wonderful, they do everything, even walk and bath the dog. Chuck does go out fishing plenty, his catch is so small, I must admit I tend throw out his "catch" and call up the local fish market to deliver....he seems not to notice....and I think it pleases him.
Mom. As I said, I have plenty meetings with clients...the best are those around lunch time...Yesterday we ate at the new Wine Bar on 5th Avenue. Oh that reminds me, I really must chase my financial adviser to see if my stocks are still growing and check that all the monthly bills get paid from the interest made from my successes of last month.
Being "a 'working' lady that lunches" does have it draw backs, I am tending to put on a bit of weight.. and retaining a bit of fluid. I have been to see ike, he is the new young doctor at the centre and he has given me a course of new pills to remove the fluids. As you can imagine, it does make me want to pass water quite often. Only a couple of weeks ago I was mowing the grass to get a bit of exercise and was taken short. So had to dash into the garage and pee in an old lemonade bottle. Typing this has reminded me that I have not emptied the contents as yet.
Well Mom I must say cheerio, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I go out clubbing with the girls and Thursdays and Tuesdays is serious shopping at the designer village...
Take care, I will phone you next week just before I go to Paris with Mike.
Love Nancy.
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