Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door I blew chunks for 10 minutes."
The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home,I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole f*cking house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand...
...Chunks is my dog."
13 comments:
ohhh! 'Kin 'ell, jokey!
;-)
You guys have a sick sense of humour
Only just noticed...?
Who's sicker - those who read them or those who post them?
OK Binty and Kim, I get the message!
JG, I'm glad this was cathartic for you. I think that throwing up on a woman using a toilet tops any embarrassing drunk moment I can remember.
Jeez - I'd love to know what your most embarrassing moment was if they come in worse than that!
At this rate you should consider setting up another blog and post an embarrassing moment each day and see how long it goes on for :)
Sounds like ideal blog material to me. Set up another blog with a different identity, if you really don't want anyone to find out who you are. But do make sure you let me know about it.
You are a sweet guy, I think. Or, you could be a psychopath. I don't know.
I am so uncool. I would not attempt to hide my identity for fear of being exposed right after telling something I'd never want anyone that even thinks they know me to find out about. I think that comes from years of hearing my Mother say with a shame-on-you-tone, "what will the neighbors think?" My answer now would be, "I am sure they will be suprised, shocked, outraged, and ultimately glad it wasn't them that did IT."
I prefer to be thought of as a sweet guy, although I guess you have no way of knowing unless I gave you my birth date.
I see you've deleted your blog. Is everything OK?
You ARE sweet. Thanks for asking how I am. I'm good. Just a little stuck in a very mundane reality at this time. It is bungee jumping time or something.
I would love to know when your birthday is, time and location too. I'd peg Virgo on you just because I attract a lot of them, and vice-versa. I could be wrong, though. You have such sensitivity. A water sign?
A sense of humor - Sagittarius? There's much more to a natal chart than the sun sign. All the planets placements and signs make the whole picture.
I have looked for more of my kind; in blogs, or dedicated forums. We are freaks, I tell ya. I have tried an astrology list before. I was verbally assaulted by the ego-maniacal moderator. It was a very discombobulating experience. And I have participated in a philosophy list about memes and such until I decided I didn't belong there either. Intellectual masturbation - my mystic friend called it. And it was.
It may be for me to just witness the creativity. I love Footeater's and Gorillabananas blogs and all the comments they generate; and my latest fun read "Ivan the Terrible" I followed from somebody else's links. Plus, I will always have yours to check every morning. Love it. Very clever of you to think of it.
I could tell you when my birthday was, but then I'd have to kill you ;)
Blogs, like anything I guess, work better with practice. What kind of blog would you like to have?
Foot Eater, for example, just used to make obnoxious comments on other people's blogs, but it's fair to say he's become much more interesting since he started writing his own.
Gorilla Bananas manages to keep the act up not only in his postings, but in his comments on other sites. I've no idea how he manages that (unless he really is a gorilla).
Given the bloggers you mention, you might have fun with Blunt Cogs. Comment on there a few times, and visit a few of the regular contributors, then submit a script or two. I'm sure you could have a lot of fun with an astrology-gal character.
Ha! Was just referred to this joke by your commment on my blog...this is hysterically funny yet so disgusting at the same time ;)
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