Sunday, July 23, 2006

If College Students Wrote the Bible

Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning--cold.

The Ten Commandments would actually be only five--double-spaced and written in a large font and a new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.

Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.

Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.

Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

4 comments:

me said...

seeing as you have been posting nice ones, heres one to put the cat amongst the pigeons.

what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
nothing, you've told her twice!

remember peeps, just a joke!

to level it up

what do you call the useless bit of skin on the end of a penis?
a man.

not having anyone accuse me of being sexist!

word veri: nubzurev. wasn't he a ballet dancer?

me said...

the loaves and fishes would have had little labels on saying who they belonged to!

(ben elton circa 471bc)

me said...

sorry to mention b.e.
for a moment i forgot this is a comedy site!

Kim Ayres said...

ha ha, thanks for the contributions guys :)