Monday, July 03, 2006

Things to look forward to...

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

87 year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."


SENILE

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know..I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then, she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."


DOWN AT THE NURSING HOME

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex!" She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex!"

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup..."

2 comments:

Charlie said...

Just dumb enough to be hilarious. It doesn't take much, you see, to amuse me.

ANYONE HAVE A BIT OF YARN?

Kim Ayres said...

AP, just be careful not to swallow it. If you do, call Jupiter's Girl. She knows how to remove it.