Less of a joke and more of a "Grumpy old man" tirade. However, some people find this kind of thing really funny
---------
Here's some advice Bill Gates once dished out at a high school speech about 11 things they did not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teaching has created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.
RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.
RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.
RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.
RULE 6
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
6 comments:
Send them to live with a band of gorillas for a week and they'll learn how to survive in a tough world. What's good enough for Davey Attenborough is good enough for them.
Raised in captivity as you were, Mr Bananas, how well would you survive with a group of gorillas in the wild?
Hmmm, I feel a "back to my roots" documentary coming on...
I'm doing just fine, Jokemail, although I admit to living something of a dual life. We primates have powerful survival instincts.
What do Gorillas dress up as at
their fancy dress parties?
They go as the back end of gnus and suchlike
Or put on a cowboy outfit.
Post a Comment