1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy roots.
11. People in the 70's couldn't root unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients’ cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend finds you screwing her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before rooting the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
8 comments:
Yes,and an excellent education it was,I hope you're not infering any or all of the above to be false or misleading.
Well I'd maybe think about taking the first 29 of them with a pinch of salt, but as for number 30 - is there any other way?
Unless you put both hands on her head.B.T.W.How does an Italian hold
his liqour?
By the ears.
Wouldn't that be her liquor?
jokemail, funny you would say that number 30 is the most truthful of the lot.
I've designed a specialized blow-job sling, complete with gentle retractive springs and a chin-cup for overflow.
The male wears the sling and his partner simply straps herself in for the ride.
Now the man's hands are free to operate the television remote, read the Sunday paper, or simply grab two handfuls of hair and start his yanking.
Genius indeed Safe T Inspector! When can we expect to see these in the shops?
Good to see you making it over to this blog. Are you up for a link exchange?
Why are you up so early in the morning SafeT or do you have children?
Jokemail:Sure! I'll update my links in the next day or so to include.
Maroon:I don't remember when I left that note. I'm -5GMT, and I awaken at 5:00am my time. I do have a four-year-old, but she doesn't get up till about 6:30.
5am-6:30am is SafeTime.
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