Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sex Quotes

"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
Tom Clancy

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
Drew Carey

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Rodney Dangerfield

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Woody Allen

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
George Burns

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
Matt Barry

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
Camille Paglia

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
Henry Miller

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
Lynn Lavner

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
P. J. ORourke


Binty McShae said...

One of my favourites - it's either Woody Allen or Groucho Marx, can't remember which - goes something like this:

"Don't knock masturbation. It's just sex with someone you truly love."

Word verification - ejeziyx. Slavic term for ejaculation, perhaps?

Kim Ayres said...

In Woody Allen's "Love & Death" there's a bit where Diane Keaton praises his love-making. He replies:

"Well, I've had a lot of practice on my own..."