You know you're a nurse if...

You know you're a nurse if...

1. You believe every patient needs TLC ... thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine...
2. You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley....
3. You believe not all patients are annoying .... some are unconscious.......
4. Your sense of humour gets more "warped" each year....
5. You know the phone number of every late night delivery place by heart.......
6. You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.....
7. Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually...
8. When asked "What colour is the patient's diarrhoea?" ...you show them your shoes!
9. Every time you walk you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.........
10. You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicine he is dispensing than he knows...
11. You carry more "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.........
12. You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flashbacks."
13. You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
14. You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up....
15. You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse...
16. Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.
17. You don't get excited about blood unless it's your own...........
18. You live by the motto, " to be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
19. You've basted your thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.......
20. You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off...
21. You've told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to HOLLER if they need help...
22. Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal....
23. Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank......
24. When checking the level of orientation of a patient you aren't sure of the answer...
25. You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines...
26. You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up........
27. You've sworn to have "DNR" tattooed on your chest...