Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I am Flunky Daiperbrain

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And let's face it, few of us will not have had a stressful few days this week.

Here is your dose ... Follow the instructions to find your funny name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

Lest we take ourselves too seriously, take a moment to find your new name and wear it with humor for the day ...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
Go figure. Clinton's new name is Booger Liverchunks.

To spread the fun, work out your friend's names and send it on to them


Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Daiperbrain,
you've little to be doing,

yours,Falafel Daiperchunks.

Kim Ayres said...

Is that you Anti Barney?

the anti-barney said...

Nope,today its Falafel

Kim Ayres said...

That's the problem with this kind of thing- I confuse myself too easily!

Dr. E. Scientist, phD. said...

Chim Chim Giggletush here. I am not adopting that as a Porn star name.

It sounds all Michael Jackson, child-botheringly.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Love your jokes, Jokemail.
from Skipper Girdlesprinkles

or real name Doofus Gerbilchunks

Kim Ayres said...

Good of you to drop by Dr Giggletush, phd.

nobody: ha ha ha, you are so witty! Please tell me where I can find your blog so I can read and learn from the master!

I guess you must be the kind of arsewipe that irritates rather than cleanses. If you don't like what's here then fuck off elsewhere.

Skipper: I can only think that you must be Sexy Beauty, in which case I am honoured by your presence. Does this mean your real name is Daphne Stone?

Anonymous said...

Daphne???? Jeez, Jokemail, does anybody get called Daphne anymore - at least you got the ph and the Stone right!

Kim Ayres said...

In that case, if your parents were hippies you might be called Typhoon. Failing that I would guess that Sophie is the most likely.

A quick Google of Sophie Stone means that you could be the deaf, single parent in High Wycombe who's just started at RADA (http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/features/newsfeatures/display.var.621152.0.being_deaf_hasnt_stopped_sophie_following_her_dream.php), or you might have started but not gone any further with a website called "Sophie Stone - Love Never Ends" (http://sophiestone.com/)or you might be working for a company called 4sight ltd (http://www.4sightltd.co.uk/About%20Us.htm), or you could be a transvestite from Salzberg (http://www.transgender.at/galerie/showuser.cgi?name=Sophie%20Stone&land=AT&attr=ks) which is a bit scary, to be honest...

Anonymous said...


Kim Ayres said...

Wow! Sexy Beauty indeed!

SafeTinspector said...

I found my name to be very appropriate!