Friday, December 30, 2005

Sporting Classics

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria... I saw her snatch this morning and it was magnificent" (Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator)

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother" (Ted Walsh –Horse Racing Commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him" (NZ rugby commentator)

"The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" (Soccer commentator George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body" (Winston Bennett)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical" (Murray Walker)

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" (Greg Norman)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing but none of them serious" (Alan Minter)

"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball" (John Francombe)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again" (Terry Venables)

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better" (Ron Atkinson)

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it you can see it all over their faces" (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew" (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977)

"Morcelli has the four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres" (David Coleman)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field" (Metro Radio)

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be adraw" (Ron Atkinson)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer" (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?" (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing the world his class" (David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?" (Anonymous US TV commentator)

10 comments:

Jupiters Girl said...

I love a good sense of humor. I googled to find astrologically-tuned sites, and yours came up with the zodiac signs changing light bulbs. I never found that one, but I laughed at all the others. I humor is the key to living a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life.

I want to link with you. I am just lousy at working with Blogspot editing.

SafeTinspector said...

Shit, that's a funny list. I wonder how many are real?

Kim Ayres said...

Hi Jupiter's Girl - glad you like the site. The page you're looking for is http://jokemail.blogspot.com/2005/11/astrological-light-bulb-changing.html

If you want to exchange links, then go to your template, and in the sidebar bit of code where it says Google News and there are a couple of edit-me slots that look a bit like this:

(li)(a href="http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=110")Edit-Me(/a)(/li)

Change one of them so it looks like this:

(li)(a href="http://jokemail.blogspot.com/")Joke Mail(/a)(/li)

Only with angular brackets instead of round ones.

If you do that, let me know and I'll link right back to you!

Kim Ayres said...

Safetinspector, I think they're probably all real. The one by Murray Walker I'm pretty sure I remember watching the F1 race where he actually said that.

Sports commentator's gaffs are incredibley common and in the UK they are known as "Colemanballs"

You can find out why here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colemanballs

Anonymous said...
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Jupiters Girl said...

The astro bulb changing joke was funny. I want to copy that. I am sure an astrologer must have written it.

I loved the X-mas memo too. All of the ones I read, actually.

My blog is pretty new to me and it just took me a hundred hours to get my picture up there. Jeez, my good friend and I finally got it posted, but I couldn't tell you how we did it.

I tried to edit the "links" section once and went into a cyber-black-hole for a while. I am going to wait another day before trying that again.

I am not sure I want to have a mutual link since reading that you are renaming blogs things like "Boring Fucktard". Man, that would hurt my feelings.

Still, I like yours and will put it in my "favorites". I love to laugh.

Jupiters Girl said...

And now there's my picture posted in my comments. Shoot. What the hell...?

Kim Ayres said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kim Ayres said...

Jupiter's Girl, I'm not renaming anything. 'boring fucktard' was a comment by the irritating nobody who thinks she is funnier than she is, and as far as I'm concerned can take a running jump back into waste pipe she climbed out of.

If you need any help with your links, don't hesitate to ask.

Nice pic btw!