Friday, January 06, 2006

Imponderables

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in ... what happens to the other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.

21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

25. How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?

26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

6 comments:

the anti-barney said...

Better late than never,still,worth waiting for.

Kim Ayres said...

Glad you think so Anti-Barney!

Welcome to Joke Mail Justbreathe28, and thanks for the contribution. Would you like to exchange links?

Tynna said...

Hey Jokemail..can I take this and put it in my blog.I love it..I'll say it's frm you..but only if u'll let me...thanks..
I'll link once I figure how to do it..

Kim Ayres said...

Blackfeline - of course you can put it on your blog. I didn't make these up, so don't own the copyright, but I appreciate it if you can mention (and eventually link to) this site.I'd like to build up as much traffic to it as I can.

the anti-barney said...

Late again

Kim Ayres said...

Anti barney, for goodness sake, refresh your browser. I was still earlier than you.

My timestamp for getting up today's blog was 10.10am. Your complaint was 12.11pm

Justbreathe, I'll link to you after I've written this